Monday, April 7, 2014

You have to let it all go Keanu. Fear, Doubt, Disbelief. Free. Your. Mind.

Keanu Reeves makes a textbook rash decision when peer pressured by Morpheus in the Matrix. 

The situation here is relatively simple. Keanu Reeves allows himself to be pressured into thinking that he can jump across buildings because he is in "the matrix," where among other things, the typical laws of physics generally do not apply. 

Looking at the distance between the buildings that Keanu is going to jump across, a conservative estimate would be that the distance is at least 50 feet. Further, the world Olympic record for the long jump, an event which most closely approximates the physical activity which Keanu is about to do, is just under 30 feet. With a little bit of research, Keanu would have realized that his jump across the buildings was not humanly possible. Perhaps though, he thought that he was a higher caliber athlete than an Olympian? If this was the case, then I fear that Keanu may be afflicted by an over-inflated ego.  



Really, this rash decision by Keanu is a textbook example of someone giving in to peer pressure. He seems to justify his actions by saying: "Oh well if Morpheus can do it, so can I." This logic is flawed though. Morpheus clearly possesses superhuman traits, as evident by the fact that his glasses never fall from his face in spite of having no temples ("temples" are the arms of the glasses- see below diagram for further explanation), and Keanu, at this point in time, is clearly one or more steps below Morpheus in terms of overall ability.



Overall Rashness of Keanu Reeves' Decision to Attempt an Impossible Jump Between Buildings: 6.2/10
Skills Demonstrated by Keanu Reeves: Failing at Jumping (10.0/10), Theatric Falling (7.1/10) Acceleration (5.4/10)

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Goddamn! You are one radical son of a bitch!

Keanu Reeves has done some pretty radical things in his life. But perhaps his most radical (and rash decision) was to jump out of a perfectly good airplane to try and catch Bodhi. 

Why is it rash? Let's analyze. 

In 1913, Webster gave the following as one of its definitions for "rash:"
Uttered or undertaken with too much haste or too little reflection

In this context, can we be certain Keanu is being rash? If we watch the video clip of Keanu's behavior leading up to his inexplicable decision to jump without a parachute from the plane, one will immediately notice that he is demonstrating signs of immense frustration. Once Bodhi jumps out of the plane, Keanu begins hitting the sides of the plane with signs of frustration clearly visible on his face. Keanu then curses loudly ("FUCK ITTTTTTT!"), picks up the gun Bodhi absentmindedly left behind (poor decision by Bodhi), and jumps after him. 





But hold on here. Is this really a rash decision? I think it probably is because in hindsight, Keanu should have reflected more (and longer) on the fact that falling onto the ground from an elevation of 15,000 feet could cause one or more of the following:
-Nausea
-Hypothermia (if it is really cold outside)
-Vertigo (if he were to find himself in an uncontrollable spin)
-Serious injury to bones or internal organs (from contact with ground)
-Possible death
Well. We know that Keanu survived this daring endeavor by catching up to Bodhi in midair (aerodynamics and acceleration are two of Keanu Reeve's greatest skills) and holding on to him. Upon landing, Bodhi exclaims:

"Goddamn! You are one radical son of a bitch!"

Interesting choice of words Bodhi, but I would have used rash.

Overall Rashness of Keanu Reeves' Decision to Jump From the Plane Without a Parachute: 7.2/10
Skills Demonstrated by Keanu Reeves: Aerodynamics (6.0/10), Acceleration (6.4/10)